I contemplated whether I should write this or not, at the surface, last year was good, but just an inch below, it was a difficult year. I even struggle with allowing myself to say it was difficult, because I have all of my basic needs, and I tend to compare to others who visibly on the outside and inside had bad years. But here I am (thanks to my therapist), allowing myself to acknowledge, that although 2022 was a good year, it was also a very difficult year emotionally.

Like last years review, it’s helpful for me to divide it into a personal and business review. I initially looked through all of my photos from 2022 to jog my memory…and wrote out top memories for each month, combining business and personal.

Lets start with ART/BUSINESS highlights and lowlights:

Taught my first kids art classes in the winter and spring. And learned that teaching just isn’t for me at this moment in time.
Had a figure painting hanging in Cameron Art Museum from April to October!
Painted a few amazing commissions that gave me lots of creative freedom that I truly enjoyed.
Held my first group show at my Gallery/Studio in April…and then had 4 more shows, for a total of 5 shows! It was incredible and exhausting and not something I may be taking into the new year.
Painted some really beautiful art for The Starling Bar, some of my most favorite art this year.
Painted beautiful abstract oil and cold wax minis and played with collage pieces.
Began a series of small paintings of European cities after our Spain trip.
Created digital paintings for WILMA that were printed into large photo background banners! They’re super fun to see in person and make such beautiful backgrounds.
Didn’t paint for about 4 months (except for a few random sketchbook pieces).

PERSONAL highlights and lowlights:

Lot’s of outdoor time, from beach walks, to hikes, to pool time, kayaking and paddle boarding.
Celebrated Ben’s 40th birthday with a surprise whiskey and fire night at our house with his guys.
Traveled to Miami in February, Disney World in March, mountain farm in May, DC in July for our 17th anniversary. I also took a solo 5 day trip with my girlfriend to her beach house in Florida, it was heavenly.
Took our first big family vacation (longer than a week) since 2015, to Barcelona Spain. It was amazing! Hard with kids, but also incredible. They keep asking to go back there again. Paella cooking in a secret garden as my favorite memory.
Bought a house!! Moved in over Fathers Day weekend…and our primary bathroom remodel still isn’t completed. It’s been difficult to not have peace in the one place you tend to seek peace and refuge, your bedroom, because it’s been a construction zone for so long.
We love our neighborhood and new friends!! Kids also switched schools to our neighborhood school, that was a big transition.
Added a kitten named Smokey to our crew.
Went to 4 shows at the Wilson Center, 3 of them with the kids.
Hosted Thanksgiving at our house for the first time since living here…and my brother and his family happened to visit us that week as well.
Transition to new house and school was super hard on the kids…lots of emotions, lots of those emotions taken out on me over the summer. Everyone cried many tears.

The war in Ukraine started at the end of February and it completely rocked my world unexpectedly. The first few weeks there was momentum to raise money for support…and then I was frozen. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think clearly, everywhere I looked there was more bad news, more bombing, more deaths, more of my culture and my people being destroyed. I was overcome with sadness and tears at the most random times. I didn’t understand and didn’t allow myself to feel this because why should I, I don’t live there anymore, haven’t for 32 years…most family that I know is in the US. But I couldn’t function. It felt selfish of me to feel this way because I was safe in my suburban home. It felt so unfair, why was I one of the lucky ones that got to escape 30 years ago, and so many others haven’t been able to.

There were so many feelings and what/how I “should” be doing/feeling. In a time when so many people turned to creating, I literally couldn’t paint a thing. I learned that I am not one to paint/create in the midst of difficulty…I need space and then I process and then I create. For so many years I had to push down emotions to function, but now as I’m learning (through therapy) to feel the feelings and just sit with them. It’s a lot! It’s not only the war, it’s friends who’ve miscarried, it’s friends whose loved ones are dying of cancer…my heart hurts for them. I don’t know what to do with those feelings except for let the tears come when they do. So this year has been rough in those ways.

After my 4 month painting hiatus, I think I gravitated to painting the European scenes because it’s something concrete, it’s not something that requires emotional energy. They’re small, they’re beautiful and they make me smile. My abstract paintings require a different mindset and energy and I haven’t been in a place where I’ve been able to access that energy. I’m getting there, slowly.

As I said at the beginning, it’s been a great year, but it’s also been a very emotionally difficult year and of course I share what I can, while holding other things close to my heart. I’m so thankful for those that have stuck with me and have continued to support me and my art practice. I’ve contemplated letting this all go and taking a break…but I can’t imagine life without art, at least not at this point. If I get there, I’ll let you know.

Happy New Year friends. Thank you for being here.

With love,

Ella

My 2022 Year-End-Review